This conflict is going to be a bloodbath. And there's a building that's blowing up because of the storm that's rising. Those blue guys want to kill those red guys.
Stormrise A storm is rising! Or something. The Enterprise is one of the most iconic objects in sci-fi. What the hell is going on in this picture? It looks like a ghost is trying to punch through some mosquito netting (if the bottom of the ship were the fist, see?). Star Trek DAC Never mind the fact that most people have no idea what a D.A.C. Also, what's with the stars? Is it a game show? So confused. He looks like he's about to give the alien a roll of Werther's Originals or something. What's maybe most disturbing about it is how sweet and grandfatherly Stalin looks compared to the snarling green Martian. Martians box could possibly cover all the bases. Martians There's so much wrong with this, that nothing we say about the Stalin vs. And they are too distracted to see that a crop duster is about to spray deadly chemicals on their heads. That's not how we do things here in America, alright? Sure, it's OK to play some wiffle ball in front of the house every once in a while, but there are more than 10 children roaming around here. Neighborhood Games Developer Jet Black Games is based in Canada, which goes a long way toward explaining why they would put children playing in the street on the cover of their game. So why do you feel the need to show us both the mount and the blade in the box art? Cute horse though. This game is called Mount & Blade, right? You've pretty much taken care of that disclosure in the title.
Mount and Blade Getting literal on us, are you, Paradox Interactive? So let's see if we can understand. Is this about an electrical contractor? And what's happening in this box art? Is he wearing Oakleys? How many holes does the muzzle of a gun need to be effective? This looks like the cover of a Robert Heinlein novel from the early 1960s but without all the busty alien chicks with nipples on the ends of their antennae. The Conduit First off, it's never a good idea to name your game after a piece of piping. You don't have to blow your brains out over it. It looks like it started out as concept art on a talented designer's desk when it was unfortunately glimpsed by a marketing guy who was in town for his twice-monthly trips to tell everyone to make everything crappier. Bleeeeechhhhhh!īorderlands Gearbox and 2K's Borderlands is one of our favorite games of 2009, but the box art is just plain silly. He has clearly fallen down and is in danger of choking to death on confetti! These evil children are up to all sorts of shenanigans and no one is watching them. And I also refuse to spell them with a Z on the end. No, we will not imagine a world in which there are party babies. Winner - Imagine: Party Babyz You know what, Ubisoft? No. Aren't your eyes sore from looking at that Modern Warfare 2 guy yet?įor every sweet box design there are 50 that are just plain stupid. There were some great covers this year, but you've already seen them a thousand times already. If you don't have an awesome cover at retail, then you might as well forget about that lavish launch party. Only the book and breafast cereal industries rely on box art to sell their products more than the videogame biz.